grand mother + bender = ouch

Now recently someone on G-mail chat ask me '' Do you think my grand mother would like a blender for Christmas '' 

I should say '' If your grand mother enjoys baking cookies then she will like a blender or a mixer. ''
But most of the time when I get an image of an older person over 50 I get the image of a guy standing in front
of a DVD player looking at it with a confused look on his face saying
 '' Where in the hell do I insert the video tape ''
I have seen older people attempt to put a VCR tape into a DVD player.
I have seen DVD's jammed into VCR tape players.
I have seen CD disk on record players and Audio tapes jammed into 8 track players.
I once saw a battery powered tooth brush placed in a drawer next to a plastic penis..
So when I think about a person over 60 with a blender I often wonder how horror able it will turn out.
'' Are you sure this is a penis enlarger honey ''

'' Are you sure that you can put that into the oven ''
'' I dropped my pills in there is it safe to reach into it while it's on? ''

So when ever I am asked those questions I ask how old she is
and recommend Viagra or season 1 to 5 of law and order. 
The Viagra comment get's a laugh until I explain Grandpa has not had sex in ten years.
Which I can say weirdos a lot of people out.
When people hear that their grand parents are not getting laid it is very creepy.
After hearing that people are never the same again.
Like that white t shirt that you spilled red wine onto.

An when someone ask me about an outfit that they are attempting to improve I can not say
anything correctly about it.  If you work at Meijer Or K-mart Or Walmart and you are required
to wear a red or blue work shirt and you wanna make it look less horror able. It's not gonna happen.
You work uniform is unfashionable and looks ugly compared to your other close.
No matter what pair of pants you wear your uniform will not look stylistic.
The one uniform I saw that was the most forgiving was at a spartan super market.
 The employees wear blue jeans, white T-shirts and a black vest.
The vest had a plastic name tag with the employees name in all capital letters

JOHN SMITH
Cashier/Average guy